This new drama from award-winning writer Stefan Golaszewski (Him & Her, Mum) is an intimate portrait of a 27-year partnership. It’s also one of the most deliberately mundane depictions of marriage ever put on screen. Ian and Emma – played by Sean Bean and Nicola Walker – appear quite content, although they’re past the stage where they feel the need to show it. Much of their communication is through the strange telepathy that often exists between long-term couples, meaning entire scenes go by without words. Time flies by as we watch them sort through their posts or watch TV while sharing a packet of shrimp crackers or fill in the blank space. Irritation emerges through hisses or heavy sighs, each carrying the weight of old arguments they can’t be bothered to repeat. Ian and Emma’s long silences sometimes feel comfortable and inviting, but other times they’re awkward. Pinter’s hiatus has nothing on it. Film and television have long been fascinated by the workings of romantic love, though it tends to be more concerned with moments of high drama. Ingmar Bergman’s 1974 series Scenes from a Marriage, remade last year with Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac, saw a couple declare their marriage stable, then divorce, then go through the marital equivalent of seven stages of sadness. In the BBC series, Together, Sharon Horgan and James McAvoy’s couple proved the fine line between love and hate while being closely held during the lockdown. Marriage Story, from 2019, had the estranged husbands of Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson screaming at each other about which of them hated the other more. Perhaps the most depressing of all marriage portraits is the Oscar-winning Kramer vs Kramer from 1979, which depicts a wife (Meryl Streep) battered by motherhood and a husband (Dustin Hoffman) married to his job. When she leaves and then returns 18 months later to claim her son, a grim custody battle ensues. In Marriage, there are no screaming matches or dramatic exits. The crockery remains resolutely thrown away. Refusing to submit to the demands of conflict-based drama, Golaszewski gives us an unusually honest portrayal of human cohabitation, eschewing plot in favor of the sad details of domestic life. Hence, it requires a lot of patience from the viewer. There’s only so much time you can spend watching Sean Bean load a dishwasher before hibernation sets in. Both sides can also be intensely (and intentionally) annoying: her with her usual buzzwords, him with his needy hovering when his wife is clearly busy. Ian and Emma’s interactions reminded me of not-so-fictional dramas like the recent Showtime series Couples Therapy, which allowed us to go behind the closed doors of a therapist’s office and eavesdrop on spouses arguing about housework, social settings or everyday life. it’s parenting. Under the watchful eye of therapist Orna Guralnik, a raised eyebrow or a look in the eye took on enormous significance. As her clients’ stories unfolded and entrenched behaviors emerged, the viewer went from being a neutral observer to judging a spouse who didn’t listen, or who always thought they knew better, or who was so afraid of being abandoned that it sabotaged the relationship. With Ian and Emma, much remains unsaid, although this does not prevent the viewer from silently acting as a healer. There’s a reason why Ian is so obsessed with buying self-proclaimed ‘refreshing’ shower gel and why he stands awkwardly around staff in supermarkets and the gym, longing to be asked how he’s doing. We gather early on that he’s fired from his job, while Emma seems to be flying high at hers. No one wants to acknowledge how this affects them. To some, Ian and Emma’s day-to-day existence will seem depressing, with their quiet routines and complete lack of spontaneity. Others will recognize the natural slowing down, the barely conscious narrowing of one’s existence, that occurs in couples as they ease into midlife and as their children grow up and become independent. At one stage, Jess laments her father’s introverted ways, seeing his silence as indicative of a non-existent inner life. During another visit home, she complains to her mother that the family never talks about “real” issues – and yet when she pushes Emma to think about a past trauma, she’s shocked at what she unleashes. If there’s one thing we can learn from The Wedding, it’s that some things are left unsaid for a reason. “Marriage” is on Sunday 14 August at 9pm on BBC One
